Dear God;


Thank you.


Thank you for loving me all the time, no matter what I do.

 Dear God; Thank you for creating Earth, our home. I like it a lot. Most of it, anyway! ;)


Dear God; Thank you for those precious little moments, they are my favorite.


Dear God; Thank you for the sunrise. It's a brand new day.


Dear God; Thank you for flowers. 


Dear God; Thank you for open fields, closed forests, and sparkling oceans. They are all beautiful in their own special way.


Dear God; Thank you for colors. I'm very glad we're not all black and white.


Dear God; Thank you for whispering winds and trickling rain. They sing me to sleep.


Dear God; Thank you for the animals, with the exceptions of insects and rodents. When I get to see you, I'm going to ask you why you created them. Mosquitoes and Rats especially.

Dear God; Thank you for providing me with two loving, faithful, God-fearing parents.

Dear God; Thank you for blessing me with five, almost six younger siblings. My life wouldn't be the same without them.

Dear God; Thank you for giving my father a good, steady job, so that he can earn money to feed, shelter and clothe us.

Dear God; Thank you for a loving mommy. I don't know what I would do without her.

Dear God; Thank you for all my darling friends. They inspire me, comfort me and help me. I'd be lost without them. 

Dear God; Thank you for placing me in a free country, where I am able to worship you and profess my faith without being persecuted. 

Dear God; Thank you for letting me get to know Mary, the mother of your son. She is my role model.

Dear God; Thank you for forgiving me every time I sin. Even though I am one of the reasons your son was crucified, you forgive me anyway. 

Dear God; I'm sorry for all the times I've sinned. I'm sorry that I'm ungrateful, selfish and weak. I take comfort in knowing you forgive me.

Dear God; Thank you for letting me know and understand Truth.
Dear God; Thank you for sending your precious, perfect son down to our world to save us.

Dear God; Thank you for letting Him suffer cruelly, more cruelly than any human being, and die for my sins.

Dear God; I will try to deserve the awesome love you have for me. I will try to be like Mary, my mother and Jesus, your son.

Dear God; I'll pray. I know you're listening.

 Dear God; I love you. Nowhere near as much as you love me, but I love you.

Dear God; Thank you for the Miracle of Easter. Christ has risen! Hallelujah!


 Happy Easter, my lovely followers! Christ has risen! Rejoice! 

God Exists.


Do I know this? I'm going to disappoint you all and say;

No, I don't.


It's impossible for me to know for sure. I want to - oh, how I want to - but I can't. My physical self will always partially reject it. My physical self cannot understand anything beyond this world, and unfortunately, there is nothing I can do about it. I am stuck with my physical self, and my physical self only has a physical capacity to understand. My physical self does not understand how there could be a supreme being, and non-physical being. My physical being is the reason I have doubts. The reason I sometimes question God's existence, to myself. The reason I say; How? How can a being so powerful, so wonderful, and so good truly exist, and what's more, love me more than my parents?


It's the reason I stay up at night, trying to convince myself to understand, and to know. Because I so desperately want to know. And sometimes, I feel bad about it. I feel like an ungrateful child. I feel like I'm letting God down, by not accepting him and being done with it. Why am I so weak?


I ended up talking to my priest about it, in fact. I wanted to know if what I was thinking was wrong. He told me that without doubt, there is no faith. There is just knowledge. Knowledge and Faith are two different things.

If God wanted me to know, he would have created me without my physical self. Instead...
Instead, he gave me the ability to believe.
To know is to be 100% sure, and to understand.
To believe is to not necessarily understand, not be sure, but still be confident of the truth.


 In order to believe, I do not have to know. I do not have to understand. I just have to accept, and be content. I have to choose to believe, despite my doubts, despite my misunderstandings. And so;
I believe God is real.
I believe God loves me.
I believe He sent his beloved Son, to die for my sins.
I believe He sees me all the time.
I believe He knows me thoughts.
I believe He forgives me.


and the best part...
I believe He believes in me.


I believe that despite my faults, my failings, my sins...he still believes that I have the potential to be a truly good person, and that I can be happy with him in Heaven, if I try my hardest. And He will never stop believing in me. I may fall and stop believing in him, but he will always, always believe in me. Because he loves me so much, so completely, so amazingly, that I will never be able to even begin to understand it. All I can do is accept it, believe it, and try to deserve it.

So, despite my doubts and wonderings, despite my scepticism, I will choose to believe. I will realize that I will never completely understand God. But I will also realize that I don't have to. God is a mystery, He will always be a mystery, but oh! what a wonderful mystery He is!


God bless you all!

Yesterday's Epistle caught my attention;
Interesting, isn't it? St. Paul is saying that while once, we were children of the bondwoman -- children of the flesh -- Christ has made us children of the free woman -- children of the Spirit.


Isn't that amazing? Once, we were a worldly people, but thanks to Christ's saving Grace, we are people of the Spirit! We are not of this world, rather, we are simply living here, biding our time, until we are called home.


Christ is calling us, every one of us, to become a child of the Spirit. It is up to us whether or not we hear and answer the call. 
We are called to be "In this world, but not of this world." 
After all, who is the prince of Earth? Satan!


We are called to set the example for those who do not hear, or choose not to hear. By following Christ's example in all things, we show others the beauty of our faith. 


Christ loves you so very much, that he suffered and died for you. He is our Savior, the least we can do to thank him is to follow his Heavenly example.


And with that inspiring (for me anyway!) thought, I bid you all a good morning.
God bless,

Otherwise commonly known as Lent.

It is, at this time, when I start to feel like a really rotten person.
Why?
Because, I dread it. Instead of being a good, selfless girl and thinking; Oh yay! I get to make sacrifices like my Savior, and offer up my discomfort for the souls in Purgatory, I go; No! I have to make a what?! S-A-C-R-I-F-...but I don't wanna!!!!!


For example, yesterday, we were abstaining from meat, since it was Ash Wednesday.
In case, for those people who clearly don't know me very well at all, I love meat. I am a full-fledged carnivore.
I love veggies too, but I rely on meat to satisfy me, most of the time.

The ideal meal for me would be;

Breakfast - Bacon, bacon and more BACON.
Lunch - chicken salad sandwich, with cucumbers.
Dinner - Roast beef and potatoes and green beans




But anyway, moving on...
I was not in a good mood yesterday. I was growly and unpleasant. Everything got on my nerves, I was tired, and I was really impatient.
What a great way to start off Lent!

I went to Confession after Mass yesterday, and my priest told me to practice the work of service for Lent.
And I'm going to try. I really will.

This Lent, I'm giving up sweets. Since that's not such a huge sacrifice, I've also decided to do one work of charity or say and extra prayer each day.
 Today, my work is to obey my mother without complaining.
Hard...

But I still feel bad, because I don't feel like I'm really into the whole Lent thing. Isn't it about sacrificing willingly, and joyfully, in honor of Our Savior? But I'm such a brat, all I can think of is whine whine whine, I don't wanna.

So, I'm praying about that, and working on a better attitude. After all, imagine what the world would be like if Christ had a Gwenea-like attitude when he died for us!

God bless,


P.S. I've been thinking seriously about quitting blogger for a while. I feel like I have nothing good to post about, nothing good to contribute to the blog-world. I also feel like I'm wasting follower-space. I know that sounds stupid, but I do feel like I'm wasting everyone's time or something.
So, I'll be praying about that too!
xo

I am SUCH a whiner/complainer. And I may complain a lot verbally, but you have no idea what goes on INSIDE my head.

You know what? I shouldn't complain. I shouldn't whine. Sure, my life isn't perfect.
But who's is? There's always something, something that 'ruins' or disrupts our life.
But guess what?

THAT'S LIFE. 

Part of life is learning to accept the imperfection, put on a smile and deal with our problems. Because moping and complaining will never stop the imperfection. If anything, it'll make it worse. But when you try your best to work your way through, you almost always get positive results. Not always right away, and not always completely noticeable, but they're there, you can be sure.

I've found that I need to start saying to myself; "No big deal"

So, the kitchen's a disaster? No big deal. I'll clean it up.

So, the boys are running around screaming? No big deal. Count to twenty, then go and calmly give them something useful to do.

So, the boys aren't listening? No big deal. Calmly explain to them that if they don't listen, there will be consequences.

So, they still aren't listening? No big deal. They'll be dealt with by a parent, none of my concern.

So, it's late and I haven't even started dinner? No big deal. We'll eat late.

So, I'm struggling with math. No Big deal. (unless I'm failing) I'll study more and work harder.


The thing with me is, I tend to get overwhelmed really easily. I make a big deal out if things ALL THE TIME.
I get that feeling where you feel almost short of breath, and your patience is worn clean through and the slightest thing sets you off like a bomb.












{not my photo}






 So, when I feel like complaining, I will REMEMBER.

• When my brothers are driving me nuts, I will REMEMBER that there are millions of children who would give their eyeteeth to have siblings.
• When I'm hating my schoolwork, I will REMEMBER that there are millions of children who don't even have the opportunity to have a real education.
• When I'm grumbling because I really don't want to make dinner, or because I don't like what's for dinner, I will REMEMBER that there are millions of people who don't even get a decent meal once a day.
• When I'm annoyed because I don't have a perfect figure, I will REMEMBER that there are starving children everywhere who will never be as well fed as I am.
• When I feel depressed because I'm not beautiful, I will REMEMBER that beauty is only skin deep, and God doesn't care if I'm pretty or not.
• When I'm irritated because my bedroom is really cold, I will REMEMBER that I am very lucky to have heating, because there are millions who are cold all the time.
• When I'm angry at my parents because they won't let me do something, I will REMEMBER that there are thousands of orphans who would trade places with me in an instant.
• When I'm annoyed because I don't get babysitting jobs often and don't have money to buy the things I want, I will REMEMBER that things are just things, and I won't be taking them to Heaven.

When I feel 'too tired' to do chores, I will REMEMBER that I have no idea what tired is, and there are millions of children who have to do hard labor on little sleep and almost no food.

Lord grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.




Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.


                                                                             - Reinhold Niebuhr











God bless!