The Lullaby

by Ivania - June 09, 2012

Some of you have asked to see my fanfictions, because some Parental Controls have blocked Fanfiction.net, for good reason. (if you know how to adjust the settings to filter out all the crap, it's a good website, but anyway) So I'm posting one entitled The Lullaby, which is my favorite. I would ask that no one copyright my work, as it took me a while to write this! :)

Synopsis: The night brings sad memories. Post Mockingjay.

I open my eyes and blink a few times, letting my eyes focus on the ceiling. It's late; the middle of the night, so why am I awake? I wasn't having one of my nightmares. As my senses start to sharpen, I feel a dull pain on my wrist. I look over to my right and my ears register the sound of quick, panicky breathing. Peeta is gripping my wrist, his eyes are closed and he's nearly hyperventilating. I sit up, my wrist still caught in his hand.

"Peeta," I whisper as gently as I can. I shake his shoulder. His grip on me just gets tighter. "Peeta!" I say a bit louder. Still nothing. I'm afraid he'll make himself sick, or have a heart attack. I start shaking him again, gently at first, but then harder and harder. "Peeta!" I shout. "Peeta, wake up!"

"Katniss!" he gives a strangled cry, hurls himself up and grabs me by my shoulders. In the moonlight I can see him looking at me, his eyes shining with pure terror. "Katniss! You have to...you...there was..." His face relaxes and he calms down, but only slightly. "Peeta," I whisper, reaching up my hand to cup his face. "It's okay. You're okay." I rub his arm gently. Peeta's breathing slows down a little bit. His grip on my shoulders lessens. His muscles are so tense, they're like wires. He's shaking uncontrollably.

"Katniss?" His voice is like a child's. Small and quiet and scared. There are tears in his eyes. "They took you from me," he mumbles. "And they hurt you. I watched them hurting you..."

"Shhhh," I whisper. I lean his head against my shoulder, and stroke his hair. "Shhh. It's okay. I'm here. I'm safe. You're safe." He's still tense, terrified. "It was just a dream."

Peeta whimpers, and starts to sob. I hold him and rock him back and forth, back and forth. But he doesn't get any calmer. Rage wells up inside me. Even though it is defeated, obliterated, I still hate the Capitol. I still hate Snow. Because even though he's dead, he's not gone, not really. He stills haunts me. He still terrifies Peeta. The Games have been over for a long time. Peeta and I have been married for four years. But we're still broken, still hurting.

Peeta has always been the strong one. Before the rebellion, he was always the one who soothed me when I cried, and held me when I felt like breaking. I needed him so badly, and still do. But now the tables are turned. He needs me, and I have to be strong for him.

"It's all right," I soothe. "Lie down, try to go back to sleep." Peeta is reluctant, but he leans back, and I hold him my arms, cradling him. I pull him up and get him to use my head as a pillow. For a while we just lie there. I caress his head gently, but he doesn't relax.

"Sing," he whispers, so quietly I can barely catch what he said. Tears start to well up in my eyes. His voice, so small and pleading, reminds me of another. I haven't sung since before the war ended. It brings back too many agonizing memories. I don't know how much Peeta remembers, but he's never, ever asked me to sing before.

But I can't say no. Not now. Not when he's like this. Peeta is all I have left, and I love him more than anything. I take a breath, slow and shaky.

Deep in the meadow, under a willow

A bed of grass, a soft green pillow

Lay down your head and close your sleepy eyes

And when again they open the sun will rise.

Peeta's eyes start to close.

Here it's safe, here it's warm

Here the daisies guard you from every harm

Here your dreams are sweet, and tomorrow brings them true

Here is the place where I love you.

Peeta's muscles relax. His breathing slows. He's falling asleep.

Deep in the meadow, hidden far away

A cloak of leaves, a moonbeam ray

Forget your woes and let your troubles lay

And when again it's morning the sun will rise.

My body feels like lead. Peeta's breath is soft and steady on my neck. His eyes are closed.

Here it's safe, here it's warm

Here the daisies guard you from every harm

Here your dreams are sweet, and tomorrow brings them true,

My eyes are closing.

Here is the place where I love you.

Time passes. I don't know how long I lie there. My eyes are shut, but I can't sleep. I'm still, listening to Peeta's breathing, to the the sound of crickets outside my window.

"Katniss." I'm startled. I thought Peeta was asleep. "Yes?"

"That song...the lullaby you sang," he whispers. He swallows, struggling, trying to grasp at a memory. "You sang it for Rue, in our first Games. While she was dying. Real or not real?"

I feel a lump working its way into my throat. I take several deep, deliberate breaths. "Real."