i don't believe in soul-mates//part one

by - July 11, 2012

I don't believe in soul-mates because I don't believe in destiny. I don't believe our path is set out in stone, and no matter what, we have to follow that path. I believe we pave our own path, with God's guidance and love, day by day, year by year,with our own choices. We have free will. Our choices are ours, and ours alone.

When I was little, I used to lie in bed at night, worrying about my future. Specifically, my future husband. I used to believe that there was one special, "perfect-for-me" person out there, and only one. God had chosen this one person for me, and he was the only one.

Because of this, I'd worry, what if I don't know? What if I can't tell if the man who proposes to me is the one? What if I accept the wrong man?

I've come to realize, however, that there is no one man. There is no one man who is "destined" to be my "soul-mate." There is no such thing as a soul-mate. If there was, and if God truly did pick out one single man that I had to marry, it would defeat the whole idea of free-will. If I had no real choice in the matter, it wouldn't exactly be a free choice, would it?

Since making that discovery, I've been much more at peace, knowing there is no real right or wrong choice. Yes, there are good and bad choices, and it is entirely possible to enter into a relationship with a bad, selfish or otherwise unsuitable person.

I don't believe in soul-mates because I don't think God chooses one single person on this earth who's "perfect" for you. There is no one who's perfect for you, because no one is perfect. We all have our imperfections, and there is no person who is going to be the "perfect fit."

Instead, I think God places people in our lives, and we get to choose who we want to spend time with (in some cases, for the rest of our lives) and who we don't. Who we marry is entirely up to us, and our choice. We are left to decide if a man is going to be a good and loving husband. Once we decide, it is up to us to choose that man...or not.
Hey guys! What do you think of the new design and name? I decided it was time for a big change. In fact, I'm even considering  finally using my real name (or part of it) and possibly posting some pictures of all of my face. Only when necessary. I am many things, photogenic isn't one of them.

Have a blessed day!

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  1. Totally agree with you! God leaves the choice of who to marry 100% with us.(The downside is that you can't blame him if you marry the wrong person, XD). The idea of having "just one right person" isn't even logical because it would only take one person marrying the wrong person to mess up everything for everybody. Like dominoes.

  2. Lovely post! Nice new design, I was wondering when I started this blog to start with until I came to your explanation! :)

    It's very nice!


  3. An interesting post. I've haven't thought about soul-mates very much (guess that stage is coming late).
    By the way, all the new-ness is very nice!


  4. I haven't really thought about it that much, but now that you say it, I have to agree with you!

    And the new name and design is lovely. :)

    ~Nessima of Arda Nessimava

  5. At first, I was going to comment and say I disagreed with you. But then I read Amaranthine's comment above. This post of yours is certainly at odds with most of the Christian blogging world Gwen! ;) I've always believed that God had someone picked out for me, as an assurance and means to resist the temptation to go out with every guy I see. And God would lead me to that man because He has a plan for my life, if only I give Him the pen. However, we do have free will. We're able to go against God's plan if we so choose. And the idea that this was so set in stone that the world would collapse in "dominoes" is utterly ridiculous.
    So, now, I have to say I agree with you in some points. It is entirely up to us who we marry, but I believe God does lead us to the right man. The worrier in me shudders at the idea that my destiny is up to myself -- because I can't make decisions! So, I do still believe God has and should have a hand in my life. And if I trust in Him, He will lead me where He wants me. But, yes, it is up to me whether I follow His lead.
    Now this comment basically went in circles...but that's the extent of what I have to say right now. :)

    Liz B

  6. great post!! I always wondered how you knew if that guy was THE ONE, and actually came to the same-ish conclusion :)

    I just rediscovered this blog (I started following a while back, but kinds went on a blog break)... miss your old design, but i guess you have to keep moving on, right?

    good luck!

  7. Love the post! I always sort of thought the same thing, wondering how you knew if he was "THE ONE", and came to pretty much the same conclusion :)

    i just rediscovered your blog (I took a bit of a blog break)and found it had a new design...lovely, though I do miss the old design...

    Good Luck in your future blogging!


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